Jokes
1-What happens when you throw a butter through the window?
A: U see a butterfly!!!!!!!!!!! (butter fly)
2-What's skeleton favourite street?
A:Dead end!!!!!
3-Why is Cinderella such a bad baseball player?
A: 'Cause her coach is a pumpkin!!!!
4-Teacher: How can we get some clean water?Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
5-A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute. "
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny. "
The man: "God, may I have a penny? "
God: "Wait a minute."
6-Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asks, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replies, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Fred replies, "My father doesn't like her."
7-Pacient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Pacient: Great! I never could before!
8-Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?
She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin. (Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.)
9-Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
10-A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket." The friends says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?" The first guys says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!"
11-Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.
12-Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?
A: Mississippi.
13-Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved!
14-The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
15-Q: What is orange and sounds like parrot?
A: A carrot
16-Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No idea.(No-eye deer)
souce:http://iteslj.org/c/jokes.html
posted by high @ 6:19 AM
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